Well folks, it's time for me to let loose. I am now in a place where I can say whatever I want, and no one will even know it's me! How exciting. Maybe this will make me more socially acceptable. Maybe here I can say all of the things I say to the people around me, who supposedly 'love' me, but think I'm a negative anti-social bitch for saying, out. Ahhh, I can sprawl out and no-one can make me feel guily. Perfect. I have been waiting for this opportunity for quite some time.
Gosh, where should I begin? There are so many things to bitch about. So many things that the people 'closest' to me don't want to hear. I'm tired of 'faking it' around them. I can't even stand half of them. As a matter of fact, I have made a conscious effort to not contact, communicate with, or even take the chance of being in the same place as most of them.
Lets start with them . . . Here's a run down of the idiots in my life that I have chosen to not get involved with. These stories will enlighten you as to why I have made the decision to disconnect with them.
Let's start with -. I grew up with this person. We went to elementary and high school together. Now, here's where the real story begins. This person had parents who put her through college at a major university, while I had the choice to either have my estranged dad, who was at that time on his 3rd of 4 marriages, be forced to pay for my college, or move out on my own from my mothers house where I lived with her only because her boyfriend didn't want me living there at his house. As soon as I made the decision to move out on my own and go to beauty college, she moved in with him. Ouch. OK, so here's that certain someone going away to college, that her parents paid for, and me. I moved out on my own, and went to beauty school. Needless to say, we weren't so close by this time. Well, after college our little princess moves out to S.F., meets Mr. wonderful, and decides to move into a condo and get married. Meanwhile, my dad passes away and I collect a small fortune from his life insusrance. I used some of it to buy myself a small, reliable car, some to go on a vacation out west . . . because I had never been there,some of it to go to school for massage therapy, and the rest I put into an investment fund. So, the time comes for our little princess to have her special little wedding. Of course it's all the way out in S.F. I didn't want to go. 'Why?' you ask. Well, I hate flying, I didn't want to spend my investment money on a ticket, hotel room, dress, and anything else that costs 4 times as much as it should. Now she won't even talk to me. I tried apologizing . . . to no avail. The End.
Next, There's the current boyfriend, who I don't get along with for many reasons. Let me just say that I should have never even gotten involved with him in the first place. Why? Well, let's count the reasons. When I met him he was a complete drunk, and was sleeping with some girl who had a boyfriend at home. Nice. Then after he decided I was worth his time he broke it off with her. So, I thought, ok, baybe he's not so bad. Well, I put myself through hell for a long time with him because of another girl who at the time I met him had a boyfriend, then they broke up, and she would call my boyfriend to go out with her everytime she wanted to go out. Now, maybe I wouldn't have minded so much if A., They hadn't slept together before I came along, and B., they wouldn't have gone out to shows and parties together and gotten drunk. . . every weekend. I can't tell you how many times I would come home from work and the two of them would be out together. Ok, so then he decides that it's a good idea to have her move in with him. So, she moves in, and the whole time she lived there it was a party most every night. I should have run. I didn't. And now I have to deal with more of his friends' bullshit. For example one of his friends who got a divorce last year is back in the single saddle, and has the need to sleep with every girl he possibly can. He even started sleeping with the girlfriend of one of his good friends. Mind you, these people are all in thier 30's. Crazy huh? Funny thing is, that none of these people want anyone to know of thier little secrets. And if you ask them about it, they lie.
My boyfriend and I don't get along because I don't like his friends. I don't like being around them, and they're always around. My boyfriend cannot find it in himself to say 'no' to them when I'm hanging out with him. I'm tired of being subjected to thier company. All of his friends listed above, and then some, have been friends for like 20 years, and the fact that he has a difficult time spending time with me without them around has pissed me off so much that I can't even stand any of them.
My boyfriend and I also have a business together, and live together. I don't feel like I ever get to spend time with him one on one. I would really like to have time alone with him to do things to keep us growing closer, and he seems to think that we already spend alot of tome together. I don't think we're really spending time together, we just both spend alot of time in the same place. We're not really interacting the way we should if we're ever going to grow as a couple. So, now, we have decided to end it all. The relationship, the shop, and living together. I'll probably be happier without all the bullshit he and his friends do, and have done for the past 15 or so years.
There's a guy who comes into my place of business who drives me crazy because he is a know it all, and he talks too much. I wish people were more conscious of how amazingly annoying they are.
I have a reputation as a bitch . . . because I speak my mind. I'd rather be a bitch than a fake. I'd rather people be honest with me than tell me what I want to hear. I am judgemental, and I don't tolerate bullshit. Maybe if more people would approach thier social life in this manner, then we could get further as a race. But instead, people lie about and deny thier feelings, and accept behavior that exhibits arrested development.
If one more person asks me how my weekend was, I'm going to throw something. I don't get a weekend. I work 6 days a week, and usually, Sundays suck.
I've come to the realization that to be fake and superficial is to be happy. Happiness is nothing but convincing others that nothing bothers you.
I feel better, but I need to work on the whole 'faking it' idea, so that everyone thinks I'm good and happy!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment