The complaint that never goes away

Why, when I look at his phone, are there so many calls to and from that skank? Seems they talk alot more than they probably need to. I wish she would go away. For good.

Annoying Person in My Life

Here's one I haven't blogged about yet. The nasty bitch that my boyfriend thing hangs out with. She's a complete drunk, drama lovin', herpes havin' skank. Ever since I started seeing the guy I've been in some kind of relationship with for over 3 years now, she's been around, being a complete annoyance. He slept with her 2 years before we started dating when they were both too drunk to remember much of it, and he can't figure out why A. I don't like her, and B. why I don't think it's cool when they hang out and get drunk together. Honestly, I don't really see any kind of friendship between them. She's just another person for him to hang out and get drunk with. An enabler. What a great person to continue a friendship with. Another thing I never understood is, why does he think it's necessary to have her work phone number? When I had a job outside the business we have together, he never had my work number stored in his phone. I've been on the verge of telling him to fuck off for awhile now. Problem is, we have a business together and live together, and we don't make enough money in order for me to move out. The stupid bitch is the only thing I absolutely cannot STAND about him. Thanks bitch, for always being there. I will never completely feel comfortable with this idiot. Maybe one day things will change and I'll be far away from all of these idiots who totally suck.

Todays Bitchings

Some people shouldn't drink coffee. I know from experience that it makes people CRAZY! Too much coffee for the wrong person, and they become an obnoxious pain in the ass. They can talk your ear off, and not even know it. I had to stop drinking coffee because it was making me even more socially anxious and self conscious than I am anyway. It was not fun. I found myself spewing out random shit that I wish I hadn't said all the time. It's so much more relaxing to not drink it at all. I wish more people would be more conscious of how uncomfortable they can make others around them when they are over-caffienated. To be even more honest, I think it would be great if people would be more conscious of their actions when they are under the influence of any substance that alters behavior. I get tired of being uncomfortable around people who are not able to see that they are enjoying themselves at other peoples' expense. PLEASE DON'T GET ALL PILLED OUT AND THEN DRINK 10 BEERS, SMOKE A BUNCH OF POT AND EXPECT TO BE TREATED LIKE YOU'RE NOT ACTING LIKE A 3 YEAR OLD. Grow up morons. When you're in your 30's and doing dumb shit like this, I have a hard time being around you, let alone respecting you. It's not fun for anyone but you, and if you had any idea how annoying you are, then you would probably understand exactly where I'm coming from. Learn to relax without all the fucking substance abuse.

There's Always Something To Bitch About

Hmmm . . . let's see here. Nothing special to complain about today. Just the normal everyday shit. Barely enough money to pay the bills. Not enough time or money to do what I would like to be doing. I would eat better, so I could feel better if I had enough money to pay for healthy food. I have alot of things I need to be doing, but I have to stay here at work in order to be able to pay the bills, barely. Typical annoying bullshit that everyone else complains about. Oh ya, the weather sucks too, can't forget that.

When I get Annoyed

I get annoyed when people ask too many questions. Figure it out for yourself. You're exhausting me! I also get annoyed when you come over to where I'm sitting and say 'What are you looking at?' when I'm on the computer. I don't do that shit. It's annoying, and I'm tired of giving you all this attention that YOU came here demanding from me. Sorry if I'm not in the mood to sit and listen to you tell me about the nudy picture messages that you and your boyfriend send each other, or to hear you tell me about how your boyfriend pulls all of his pubic hair out. Your fake laugh gets on my nerves too.

Dear Diary?

I titled this one dear diary because I feel like I'm writing one in this blog. I guess it's good for me to get things out somewhere besides in someone elses ear. It seems that things don't get better when I tell people around me what I'm dealing with in my head. It only makes me feel weak and inferior. Like they are a better person simply because they have the ability to deal with things without talking to others. I guess I'm kinda looking for help when I turn outward with my thoughts. I'm finding out that really the only thing that will help an undesirable situation is how I handle it, instead of asking for someones help. I want to work on trusting myself enough to use my best judgement and not be dependent on someone elses. This would probably be a major step in establishing a higher self esteem than the one I have lived with my entire life. I wanna keep things to myself and be more patient in order to make a better more effective choice for myself. I guess at age 34, I'm finally ready to find out who I am. I wanna love who I am and I wanna have fun with who I am.

Happy Alone Time

I like spending time alone. People annoy me. I know this is probably not right, but I can only stand to be around some people, and even then not for very long. I feel alot more relaxed and insightful when I'm not trying to relate to someone else. It's exhausting. I like to do what I want to do without asking someone if it's what they want to do. I should probably try to make an attempt to do things with people, but I don't feel like I can until I've had enough time to myself. I'm no good to anyone else if I'm no good for myself. I'm a person who needs to spend alot of time alone in order to be myself and feel comfortable in the world. Then I can give to the people I come in contact with. I like to get to the point where I feel like I want some human contact. I get really tired of being around people without being given a choice. I become very short tempered and difficult to get along with. I need more time to myself so that I can be a positive force in the world. I need time to quiet my mind EVERY DAY.